Marian's ballad
by LadyElsii
Summary: Marian sits down and remembers her own love story with Robin.
1. Chapter 1

summary: Marian sits down and writes her own ballad of undying love about Robin of Locksley and how he deserted her.

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Marian troubled by her recent lost love she gathered all her feelings and memories, retrieved a ledger and quill, an apple to eat (to her the apple was a truly inspiring fruit) and made her way to the private gardens that was behind Knighton to write her own ballad of undying love about the man she loved and lost to the holy lands.

My heart skipped a beat when I first knew I loved Robin of Locksley. He was handsome strong and destined for great things. Where as I Marian, a lowly noble girl who he was fond of as a friend was quite ordinary. no one not even I was prepared for his shocking request to start courting me. It was the talk of the town and nobles everywhere gave their congratulations.

Both Robin and I were invited to many more celebrations as a couple and we were the topic of discussion at the council of nobles. However it was never that simple. I was always used to babysit children at these "celebrations" so the mothers could attend and gossip about myself and Robin. while Robin was taught how to properly handle a woman.

Robin was always disobedient and found himself aimlessly wondering into the room where i and the children were left. usually i had little Bertha, the darling little daughter of Mildred and Thomas of Clun in my arms, while i also had Isabelle and Timothy of Nettlestone's children at my feet tugging at my skirts almost tripping me up. Then Robin swanned into the room.

"oh i hope your this good with our children Marian" i rolled my eyes at Robin's expectations while stiffling a sile, i was so glad he had saved me fromt he ear pericing squeals of little children i had no care for.

"well i should be because i will _love _them" i envisised on love so the children got the idea i despised them.

"good".

The next celebration was my 16th birthday, it was the celebration of me becoming a woman and how i hated that day, for it ruined my anticipation to marry Robin almost ruined my livelihood. i insisted on Robin attending but he seemed less eager. and when he finally approached me i dragged him by the arm and out into the garden. he seemed uneasy and slightly guilty i questioned him but he shrugged it off.

"Robin if you love me you would help me convince my father to move foward the wedding" that was when Robin sprung to life and looked deeply into my eyes.

"i do love you" his intense eyes made my heart melt and i began to lose control of my own actions. "that is why i brought you this" he turned me around and retrieved from his pocket a necklace, that was three delicate flowers carved from mother of pearl and hungaround my neck with a golden chain. once he had placed it around my neck and it sat gracefully on my chest i swung round and looked into his eyes rendered speechless by his kind action.

"it was your mother's Robin i cannot acept this" Robin held me by the arms and began to kiss me pasionatley agia i was rendered speechless.

"you must accept if you love me, and then hopefully you can use it to remember me by while i go away" my speechlessness became worse as i looked at him in a confused state. "Marian talk to me" it was then i clicked Robin had always spoke of the glory of war and how he wished he could one day fight along side the mighty Richard the lion heart, but he promised that he wouldn't for my sakes.

"your going to the holy land aren't you?" he nodded guiltily

"maybe we can marry before i go" he suggested i moved my fingers around m neck and reached for the clasp on my necklace.

"you expect me to marry a dead man" i screamed he was now the one confused

"but i am living breathing i am not dead" he was so naive and couldn't understand

"going to the holy land is like writing your own death warrant" i began to get louder and more high pitched, tears were welling in my eyes and without thinking i threw the necklace at his head. he remained calm and approached me

"if there is still room in you heart to marry a _dead man_then please meet me at Locksley tomorrow where i will discuss this situation with my father" he handed me the necklace and walked back into the manor. i stared down at it anger still boiling inside of me i tyred with all my strength to get rid of that blasted necklace but i never had the heart. instead i kept it in my cleavage to keep it near my heart with a little hope that he would return.

i sat alone in my bedroom looking at the horizon where the tree's of Sherwood lined it hoping i would see Robin run back to me but in the two years if my grief he never did i was now the age of 18 and my father thought it suitable for me to search for another suitor but ahgain never had the heart to.

_and then Sir Guy came_


	2. Chapter 2

Sir Guy certainly wasn't unpleasant on they eyes and his voice melted any noblewoman he took the time to talk to at the council of nobles. but Sir Guy brought bad news for everyone in Locksley and the possible future of my Father's rein as the sheriff of Nottingham.

I cannot lie i was very flattered when he took the time to speak to me an i, (even though i still kept Robin's necklace in my cleavage) was moving on. The hope remained in tact but my tolerance and patience wore thin. I needed an escape from my emotions and that was Sir Guy.

one particular day he approached me (and i admit i was developing a fondness for him) my heart skipped a beat just as it had done when i first knew i loved Robin. Buy every time my father suggested a courtship i had to refuse. it didn't seem right to marry the man that had undoubtedly taken the place of Robin.

my whole world around me was changing my feelings towards Robin, my thoughts on the politics of England and what i was meant to do when my father was forced of the post as sheriff of Nottingham, and the poor of England was being exploited. my feeling turned into a fight as the Nightwatchman and each night i would give the poor what they needed, i never really had a problem with Sir Guy until Robin returned.

at celebrations i was to be on my best behaviour, and it was an innocent enough act but it attracted more attention from Sir Guy. celebration became rare as people found there was nothing to celebrate, but the rare birthday and good harvest. at the banquets i would sit at the right side of my father who was now placed in the middle of the nobles because he was no longer sheriff. but he was also somewhere where the new sheriff could keep an eye on Father which also meant i was put on further display.

he began to approach me once again, and once again my heart skipped a beat.

"good evening Lady Marian" he bent over and kissed my hand.

"good evening Sir Guy" he looked directly at me and bowed once again as i addressed him. he was dressed completely in leather clad where as i was dressed in a black cotton dress with a pink floral print that hugged my figure nicely which in my opinion attracted Sir Guy even more.

"you look stunning" my legs almost buckled at the compliment not only that his extremely seductive voice, i turned red and tried to cool myself down by fanning myself with my hand.

"thank you Sir Guy as do.." i looked him up and down i wasn't really sure if he looked stunning in his leather but he certainly looked handsome, but it wouldn't have gone a miss if he changed his clothing for a celebration "you" i smiled once more and turned to my father to avoid further conversation and further embarrassment and awkwardness.

"thank you Marian, i was just discussing with the sheriff about your absences at the council of nobles" he began i raised an eyebrow and tried not to look Guy in the eyes.

"i have been feeling out of sorts lately, and father does not think it is the place for a lady such as myself" he looked at me in concern and i smiled back up at him "but i will try and attend tomorow" and with that he walked away. a feeling of emptiness erupted inside me along with he feeling of relife Sir Guy was like a polite stalker, but in ways i quite enjoyed his obsessive behavior because it dawned on me one day i could use it to my advantage.

it wasn't that i wasn't attracted to Sir Guy, it was just the hope that Robin would return grew stronger and with no news from the holy land i had a right to dream. it was still practical to think ahead when Robin would return. how i would pay him back for the years of torture and pain i suffered at his foolish actions and quest for glory. but if i was to receive news that Robin had died i would certainly consider Guy as a suitor.

_then Robin returned_


	3. Chapter 3

Robin's return sent shock waves throughout Nottingham, and even though i was pleased that he was no longer a dead man he still was not forgiven. i didn't expect him at my door that day, i just thought it was a couple of crooks hoping to trick my father and steal his money. Until i saw Robin's trademark cheeky grin i knew instantly it was him and it shocked me but i had to keep a cool head.

He had come face to face with my arrow and yet he still didn't back down. Robin wasn't know for giving up. i just wished and wished he would leave soon so i could break down and cry like i felt like doing. He had broken my heart by leaving and then he returned, the dead man returned.

When he finally had left i slammed the door behind me and place my back against it. Then against my own will i collapsed to the floor almost in tears, i began to hyperventilate and my father began to worry about my health. The tears began to cascade down my cheeks and i just couldn't stop them.

Then at the council of nobles he came swanning in, in his usual self righteous self and i felt like breaking down in tears once more. He spoke down to the sheriff and flaunted his policies something i respected, everyone wanted to they just never had the guts. But i still thought Robin was a fool and he proved that at the execution.

When those arrows hit the rope my heart stopped and i just couldn't believe Robin could be so stupid, but then again it was Robin. He was a fool and he was bound to die now which was a shame because he survived 5 years in the crusades only to be killed by the Nottingham town guards that were anything but smart.

I had a chance to save him and although it could have been the worst decision in my life or the best but i saved him. When the guard aimed his arrow at Robin i could only feel sorry for him and then my mind began to race. I searched everywhere for something i could do to help him and the only thing i found was my hair pin which was recently sharpened. So i threw it and the arrow missed Robin thank god, but he owed me one.

The idiot outlawed himself and that i did not feel sorry for, he was warned what might happen but still he continued. I don't know weather it was a stupid thing or a wonderful thing but wither way he was hero to the people of Nottingham, and i appreciated that.

As Robin tried to get closer to me i kept pushing him further away, i thought i was over him but i wasn't. It broke my heart when he held an-others child in his arms. He never answered weather it was his or not. and when i was tending to his wounds it broke my heart when i saw the stab wound that was struggling to heal. i was generating feelings for Robin while Guy was generating feelings for me.

Helping the poor comes with consequences and one of them is having your hair sheared off, which is why i still worry about Robin.

Guy was getting closer to me, he had even invited me to be his acquaintance at the Nottingham fair.I felt this was leading to something so i tried to avoid it at all costs. I even tried to avoid him. But in my escapades as the Nightwatchman i was seen by Guy luckily he did not guess it was me even though he had cut my arm and he found the blood in my sleeve, and also despite the obvious breasts even though it tried to hide them best i could they were still pretty obvious.

Robin saved me, from a grieving boy who's father was killed at Guy's mines. He was seeking revenge by killing the one Guy loved which incidentally was me. i tried to talk him out of it but he was not to be won over not even if i pleaded. Then Robin turned up and i was incredibly grateful even though he did owe me it.

My father gave me a choice obey him and stop my escapades as the Nightwatchman or disobey him, i told him i could not obey him without letting him finish the sentence. It was obey him or leave and as i couldn't obey him i had to leave. There was a nun that was seeking refuge at the castle and i asked her permission if i could join her convent. I was sick and tiered of men telling me what to do, its suffocating especially with such an independent woman such as myself.

But to everyone's surprise the Nun wasn't actually a nun and she had tricked us all an i had to remain at Knighton. But my father realized why being the Nightwatchman was so important to me and i could stay and continue to be who i was and still am.

But something tragic happened in the eyes of both Robin and i. i was forced to accept Guy's proposal and become soon to be Lady Gisborne. This broke Robin's heart. i did say i was only going to marry Guy the day the king returned and with it firmly planted in my mind that the king was not going to return i thought i was safe for now. But as Guy grew impatient and i was growing closer and closer to Robin our relationship became dangerous and Guy began to threaten my father and abuse his power, but i had to remain tolerant of Guy's behaviour or rish both my father and i to get punished.

then the "king" returned


	4. Chapter 4

Of course the news was quite a shock to me, i couldn't quite take it in when Guy told me. He had come to Knighton to enlighten me with the "good" news but decided to "sweep me off my feet" bad idea. Naturally my instincts told me differently and i defended myself my jumping away from him almost revealing my identity as the Nightwatchman. Luckily Guy is a naive man and is blinded by love and the only way that he would find out is if i unmasked myself in front of him.

The news like i said shocked me and i couldn't help but feel regret, regret in ever accepting his proposal and regret that i had even given him the time of day. Although i had told everyone around me that i saw the side of him in which he was truly human, deep down i could see that my marriage to him would be unpleasant and he would have any patience with children or me at that matter.

Then there was Robin, how heart broken he would be if i ever did walk down that aisle. I was beginning to miss the simpler times where i was a child and all i worried about was playing childish games with Robin, not have to worry about the politics in my own bloody life. I had to remain calm and collected and not reveal my true feelings, i would later reveal them in one final escapade as the Nightwatchman.

Guy revealed the riches i would have as Lady Gisborne and i felt an ill feeling bubble from the pits of my stomach. This was the money that Guy and the sheriff stole off the very people i tried to help. It felt wrong to be in so much wealth and the people of Nottingham go hungry for yet another winter. So that why i decided my final escapade as the Nightwatchman would be at Locksley manor, little did i know that it would layer turn fatal.

That night at Locksley was an interesting mixture of feelings and thoughts. When i was trapped in that room i had to admit i was scared i had nowhere to run and this would really be the death of me. and it was sort of, when Robin came to get me out of a more than sticky situation and i had walked down the stairs (after pushing Guy down them of course). i managed to get myself stabbed by Guy of course.

When i lay there in the cave talking to Robin about how we had lied to each other all our lives, i felt that i was beginning to forgive Robin. Something i had refused to do. I was about to die and there was no doubt about it and i only regretted never telling Robin i loved him and that i did forgive him.

But by some miracle i was alive i had survived only to marry Guy. Robin had given me a hope that a physician named Pitts would give evidenceagainst Guy to the "king". But Guy had killed Pitts and i was once again on the path to marry Guy, if not out of choice but out of fear. Fear that he would harm my father.

As the wedding approached Robin began to get less patient and he seemed to become cold. I told him to grow up and that was exactly what he did. He couldn't be grown up about the wedding so he went away so he didn't have to face me becoming Lady Gisborne. He left me once more.

It seemed to take an eternity to walk down that aisleand each step i took my body became more and more numb. Yet my head seemed to get heavier and heavier. My mouth felt dry as i said my vows and my heart was filled with relief as Much rang that bell.

It felt all to good to be true and as Much revealed that the king was an impostor i felt i was marrying on false promise. And so i left risking my whole future but i took that opportunity not to waste my life away.

When Robin pulled up on his stallion that might as well have been an ass i couldn't care less it was my ride out of there, My heart pumped faster and faster my faced lit up into a huge smile. My Robin was here, my knight in an outlaw's attire was here to save me from the doom that was Gisborne. I loved Robin and when we shared our first kiss since childhood i felt one with him.

Once again Robin saved the day by saving my far from death, infiltrating the castle and outsmarting the sheriff. Yes Robin was moving higher and higher in my good books and wasn't long before i realised the danger of it all and i needed to get my father out of the castle quickly.

I grabbed him by the arm and took him strait to the stables

"get home now I'll be there soon" i demanded as my father saddled the horse, he did as i sad and i turned once more to be greeted by Robin. "what now Robin, i didn't marry Guy" he grinned and i smiled back at him.

"and I'm happy for you" he replied i began to saddle my horse

"listen we can't act as if this is a game any longer, both my father and i are in grave danger, by running of from the wedding and my father trying to give evidence against the sheriff gives the sheriff an automatic excuse to punish us." i began to lead my horse out of the castle stables "and what if Guy saw me on the back of your horse" Robin began to laugh and i couldn't quite understand

"calm down Marian he won't and if he does i will be there" he replied once more

"you can't always protect me" i turned back and looked at Robin he saw the worry in my eyes

"true, unless you come with me to the forest" and that was it the first time Robin invited me to the forest and how i would regret ever declining it maybe my life would have turned out a little differently. But nonetheless i declined and returned to Knighton to see to my father.

and then Guy raised Knighton hall to the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

From then on in my life was different, Guy was no longer a man I could manipulate to get what I want. Neither was he stupid. I was confided to my room in the castle and when I wasn't in there I was followed around by one of Guy's guards. I barley had time for Robin and the only time he bothered to visit me was to get information for his precious outlaws. How I envied them being able to live with him day in day out.

Being trapped in the castle didn't stop me being the Nightwatchman, it just made it more of a challenge. I never felt guilty undermining and deceiving Guy, I had become good at that and pretty soon the guilt washed away. My relationship with Robin was swiftly changing we were going from love struck romantics to two lover who couldn't stand each other. But then each day that would change it depended on how often I would see Robin. I did miss him immensely but of course with being England's hero came great sacrifices.

I remember one moment where my heart had stopped completely because of the spontaneity of Robin's actions. I was walking through the village of Clun. With a guard surprise, surprise I didn't realise that Robin had been following me since Nottingham and was waiting for the right moment to grab me. He had hit the poor guard over the head and then grabbed my wrist, yet again I found another opportunity to roll my eyes and then slap Robin round the face.

"what the hell do you think your doing you could get seen" I moaned at him he just stood smirking with my back to the wall and him trapping me between him and the wall I was left defenceless.

"I know" he said simply before leaning in for a kiss, I tried to escape but it was hard to resist since I was trapped. I tried to break away but I loved the silly man and we were fighting to be together. I think the only reason I broke away was because he was utterly stupid and could put us both in danger.

"you do realise that I am not prepared to die just yet" I said, our faces were so close that I could glare into his green eyes but also conceal the smirk curling my lips.

"and I'm not ready for you to die either" and with that he walked away and I was left to tend to the injured guard.

That was the last I saw of him properly until I was threatened to be sold to Winchester. Robin was planning on mine and my fathers escape but things went terribly wrong and I was sold by the sheriff to Winchester to secure his signature on the great pact of Nottingham. It seemed nothing to me at first until I realised that it was actually something that would threaten England for good. But I was saved in time by Guy and that made our relationship grow a bit more.

But the pact was till in the hands of the sheriff and life in England seemed to be in peril, as prince John was getting closer and closer to the throne.

Relationships growing more and more. It was getting to the point where they couldn't grow any further and I just couldn't take anymore. I couldn't take Guy anymore, although he looked pretty handsome on the outside, his personality was rotten. He had a violent temper and I just couldn't take it he would usually take it out on my father and that would hurt me most. And then there was his breath, his foul stanching breath . Every time he leaned in for a kiss all I could smell was that , it sickened me. It repulsed me, and now avoiding kisses was getting harder and harder.

With Robin it was almost tedious, he wasn't ,much better. Although I had to agree with him in some aspects of his decision. He was still pigheaded and England and his gang came first in his eyes , I never stood a chance. I was once told by a wise old women that his heart was in the right place just his priorities were wrong. What could I do about it. I loved the stupid man but sometimes I felt as if his love was never returned. That the only reason he talked to me was for information. But then there was his kisses, his highly passionate kisses that made my heart melt. That persuaded me into anything he wanted me to do. Lies were getting bigger and sneaking in the forest was more of a thrill these days than a chore. For the things me and Robin got up to were un proper, but we were not sure if we were even going to get a chance to ever do those sort of things with England in peril.

Those improper things made me all flushed with thrill and when I returned to the castle I was always interrogated as to why I was like this or weather I needed medical attention. Of course I didn't I just needed more Robin, but I couldn't tell then that. But when I visited my father in the cells, he began to get suspicious to, and I could only tell him the truth. And while I was telling him the truth I told him of Robin's plans to get the pact and to free us both. But all he returned with was "you're both dreamers" and that was the last time I really spoke to him, and the last words I uttered to him

"sometimes I'm ashamed of you" and believe me the guilt I felt was extreme, but he drove me to it after all, all I wanted was my fairytale love story with Robin without all the fuss but my father was stopping that from having, and so was the whole of England.

And then my father died.


End file.
